Ying tong iddle i po

Oh no! I'm being watched by the Staatspoliticalcorrectnessdienst! Or I would be, if they existed.

They break down your door in the night
And loudly demand if you might
Refrain from your use
Of terms of abuse?
Can free speakers survive this fright?

And in other news, George Bush is stupid.

While reading today on what's new,
Discussions on G8 come through.
The US opposes
What Merkel proposes
And also, the sky is sky blue

Punchline

Once proclaimed as something to fear,
A doom that was terribly near.
The big threat of our time
Has become a punchline.
What, no WMDs here?

What rhymes with Cameron?

Well, David can make a good joke
And maybe he's quite a nice bloke
But I'll never vote Tory
Full stop. End of story.
I wouldn't be under their yoke.

Stop fucking lying

I don't mean to write a polemic,
But you know it's anthropogenic
So stop with the lies
You cannot disguise
That the results are becoming endemic.

While you are still busy with lying
The people are already dying
You make a quick buck
And you don't give a fuck
Hey, who cares if we're frying?

"Hey! Charts and graphs are cool!"

There once was a man named Al Gore,
Dismissed as a lying old bore.
Through lectures and slideshows,
Now everybody knows,
He's never been hotter before.

My Own Chocolate Jesus

Yes maybe the statue lacks taste,
And it puts all that chocolate to waste.
But "Worst Assault Ever"?
Beating martyrs, whatever?
Get thee to a library, post haste.

Linkage

Here's a funny poem on abstinence-only education, and the strange metaphors used.

Miss Prism

PZ's commenters

While I'd otherwise be on your side,
I think that it's needlessly snide
When you mention "Sky Fairy";
It makes me quite wary
So I give you a berth a mile wide.

*Bonus points if you can improve the last line*

More styles

Calum suggested an acrostic.
However,
I've never been keen.
Look how easy it is
Don't worry about rhythm or rhyme.
If the first word fits, that's enough
So simple a primary-school pupil can do it,
Hence this post.

Styles

Limericks must rhyme.
Write a haiku: it's easy,
if the point is brief.

To act now would be premature!

Just as Rome wasn't built in a day,
Climate change shows a markèd delay.
But stick head into sand,
As some critics demand
And there'll certainly be hell to pay.

In my defence...

I didn't write this.

There once was a Nice Guy from Nantucket

This "epic" came about in response to the other limericks in a certain webforum thread. I make no claims as to its quality, but hope it at least made the other posters think. If you don't get what it's about, try searching for Nice Guys (TM).

Well I read, and was worried to spy
The woes of the famous nice guy.
You should know, by the way
There are many who say
"Nice Guys" are not nice, and here's why:

If you listen to a feminist
They'll tell you that women get pissed,
When someone's "Nice Guy" claims
Secretly have the aims
Of hiding misogynist twist.

If you do a web search then you'll see
These are not the right people to be.
For these claims of depression
Oft mask passive-aggression
And an ego that screams "me! me! me!"

Yes it's true that in school, for a while
that the jerks may be top of the pile
but to lose being nice
is too heavy a price
to join cliques that are soon out of style

We all must have pretty good mates
who manage to get on some dates
For in fact being nice
need not rid you of spice,
but resentment's what everyone hates.

If you're nice and are honest of heart
then your love life will hopefully start.
Whether early or late,
it's a far better state
than to live stereotypes of this art.

At Claire's urging...

It looks like I'll be posting here.

Thanks to a limerick in this thread, I've been asked to show off my dubious poetical talent.

Here's my entry for a pro-life poetry competition

A baby begins as a zygote,
and that’s why it really gets my goat,
when these “women” aren’t wives
and “take charge” of their lives
and also, we now let them vote!

…

Just cos it’s your body don’t mean that
we crusaders cannot be shocked at
your right to control
when girls should be tole’
that foetus trumps all, and that’s that.

Glad to see you've been following my instructions

Despite apparently not wanting any readers, I'm posting here. Is it the height of narcissism to be doing this? Or just a sign that I should learn to keep a diary?

UPDATE: So this is how you edit posts.

Don't read this blog

It only exists because Blogger automatically sets up a new blog 
when you create an account in order to make comments.